So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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