You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
