I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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