Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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