hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
