i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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