Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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