How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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