Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
