You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
