If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
