so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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