i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
