Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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