u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
