she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
