it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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