just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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