Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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