Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
