please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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