yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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