he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
