i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
