We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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