He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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