dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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