there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
