Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
