You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
