Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
