i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
ttyl tear gas
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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