And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
