You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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