He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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