i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
