Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
