i barfeds in our rink
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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