Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
