I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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