party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
