in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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