she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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