I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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