I didn't shave. On purpose
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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