I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
