So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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