when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
