Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you never un-have a 4some
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize