hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
