her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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