so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
