Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
